Foster children are very nervous about holidays. Most foster children (especially group home children), worry about what your traditions are, are they going to get the same gifts as natural children (because they rarely do), will they be included the same as the natural children when the family is going somewhere or will they be left behind – on and on. When it comes to the holidays they wish for the best and expect the worst.
We required that our foster families treat all the children in the family the same before we certified them. Nevertheless, the children worried.
Every year I had the girls go shopping for a special dress to wear to the various functions we took them to such as The Nutcracker, The Singing Christmas tree, school functions, church functions and grandma’s house. After they picked out the design they each wanted, they chose the color and fabric – and then I made them. Each girl was in a panic until her dress was ready. I usually chose to make the easiest ones first because they were faster. The last one was the most complicated and took the most skill and time to make. That girl was a wreck until I got it done.
I worked very hard on making everything perfect. All the gifts were wrapped beautifully, and the tree was laden with gifts because as the children grew, and more were added, it was not unusual to have 50 (or more) for Christmas dinner and gift opening. That tree was quite a site!
It made me mad when they opened the gifts I wrapped so beautifully to see if they got what they asked for before our celebration. SO, one year I put the presents under the tree with numbers on the labels instead of names. I was the only one who knew who each number was. They worried more than I knew. They had crying spells, temper tantrums, and depression until they finally spoke up. “Don’t ever put presents with numbers on them again! YOU RUINED CHRISTMAS!” I just didn’t understand how badly they had been treated, and how that feeling of being left out hurt them and actually traumatized them.
I explained why I did what I did. They explained how their fears affected their lives and apologized for not trusting me. We worked it out but it really put a strain on holidays. I promised I would never do that again, and I never did!
- The Year I Ruined Christmas - December 27, 2024
- Inspirational Stories for Kids: Lessons to Inspire Growth - December 19, 2024
- Moral Stories for Kids: The Impacts of Storytelling - December 2, 2024
